threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
