dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Everything about him screamed your future.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
