You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
