My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
