So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
