He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize