Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
