You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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