bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
