its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
