day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
ttyl tear gas
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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