Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
