I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
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I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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