Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.

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(563): that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark. http://tfl.nu/i86g

Replies (13) Good night (1238) Bad night (2487)
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(571): View more from Virginia

We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."

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(571): We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants." http://tfl.nu/wjgr

Replies (16) Good night (968) Bad night (3616)
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(850): View more from Florida

We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.

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(850): We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you. http://tfl.nu/tn9h

Replies (18) Good night (8319) Bad night (1463)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is

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(614): Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is http://tfl.nu/l5nn

Replies (20) Good night (7172) Bad night (1903)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?

(732): View more from New Jersey

like it was yesterday

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(240): Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra? (732): like it was yesterday http://tfl.nu/1org

Replies (20) Good night (11933) Bad night (1401)
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(419): View more from Ohio

You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster

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(419): You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster http://tfl.nu/810i

Replies (9) Good night (2785) Bad night (1195)
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(518): View more from New York

and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis

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(518): and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis http://tfl.nu/7q4s

Replies (13) Good night (3656) Bad night (1261)
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(541): View more from Oregon

he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.

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(541): he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life. http://tfl.nu/b77w

Replies (12) Good night (2309) Bad night (1114)
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(301): View more from Maryland

so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.

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(301): so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq. http://tfl.nu/u32g

Replies (7) Good night (1000) Bad night (1631)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He sprained his penis one time

(603): View more from New Hampshire

He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis

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(603): He sprained his penis one time (603): He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis http://tfl.nu/1fye

Replies (21) Good night (680) Bad night (2333)
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(661): View more from California

Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room

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(661): Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room http://tfl.nu/4z49

Replies (9) Good night (2297) Bad night (665)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart

(763): View more from Minnesota

Die.

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(203): Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart (763): Die. http://tfl.nu/kmyn

Replies (11) Good night (895) Bad night (1208)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"

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(318): A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?" http://tfl.nu/oinl

Replies (5) Good night (1814) Bad night (552)
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(925): View more from California

I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.

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(925): I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea. http://tfl.nu/uulw

Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (377)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings

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(306): Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings http://tfl.nu/zw2p

Replies (2) Good night (507) Bad night (335)

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