Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...

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(310): View more from California

I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..

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(404): View more from Georgia

Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.

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(585): View more from New York

If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.

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