Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.

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  (650): I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs. http://tfl.nu/bo8w
  Replies (7) Good night (1640) Bad night (524)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it

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  (508): Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it http://tfl.nu/y6rt
  Replies (16) Good night (4314) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.

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  (336): I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me. http://tfl.nu/4zk7
  Replies (24) Good night (2701) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.

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  (646): He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season. http://tfl.nu/dtjf
  Replies (11) Good night (3534) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.

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  (208): why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never. http://tfl.nu/g58g
  Replies (27) Good night (8853) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?

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  (610): Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar? http://tfl.nu/upld
  Replies (9) Good night (937) Bad night (2903)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.

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  (609): promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant. http://tfl.nu/llpo
  Replies (5) Good night (1925) Bad night (1354)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.

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  (615): There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night. http://tfl.nu/q563
  Replies (2) Good night (727) Bad night (1752)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat

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  (902): They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat http://tfl.nu/tmda
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months

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  (787): Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months http://tfl.nu/wlwj
  Replies (4) Good night (1011) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.

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  (262): Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs. http://tfl.nu/x449
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.

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  (203): No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places. http://tfl.nu/z30e
  Replies (0) Good night (615) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.

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  (570): So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry. http://tfl.nu/zqk1
  Replies (3) Good night (962) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.

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  (907): Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again. http://tfl.nu/nki8
  Replies (5) Good night (608) Bad night (203)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.

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  (623): It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit. http://tfl.nu/h0fw
  Replies (4) Good night (194) Bad night (654)

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