She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
