I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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