Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
