You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
