Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize