sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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