i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Randomize
