He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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