Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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