They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This is the prime rib incident all over again
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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