well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
