I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
