His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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