Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize