I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
