Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
