when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
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