i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
