Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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