jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
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I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
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He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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