Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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