He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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