Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just puked most of my soul out..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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