Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize