will power is for people who don't want to get laid
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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