did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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