This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
