the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
