so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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