It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
