When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
