I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
