i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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