If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
