Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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