it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
