oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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