You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
