i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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