gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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