Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
