Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
