Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize